I should put it behind me, shouldn’t I?

Did I love too loudly, speak in colors you never wanted to see? Did my hands reach too far, grasping for something you were never willing to give? Was it the way I stayed, the way I waited, the way I let my heart unfold in your silence— did that make me foolish, or just naive enough to believe you would catch me? Tell me, was it my words that pushed you away, or the weight of what they meant? Did I cross the line by wanting more than you were willing to hold? I replay the moments, soft edges turned sharp, searching for the place where I became too much, too close, too desperate to be chosen. And now, I stand alone at the edge, whispering to the ghost of what we were, wondering if I was ever meant to step inside your world— or if I was always just an outsider to your love. This version leans deeper into raw vulnerability, self-doubt, and the ache of feeling like you loved too much. Want it even more intense, or more dreamlike?

Meeting my younger self for coffee (when Im not NBM and not down with GE)

Both of us arrived 1 hour early. She sits before me, hands curled around a cup too full, spoon clinking against porcelain, stirring like she can slow time. Her eyes, wide with wonder, scan my face for secrets— for answers, for proof that the world did not break us. I want to reach across the table, trace the softness still in her bones, tell her not to give it all away. But she is glowing, bright with a hope that is so shining. “Do we make it?” she asks, voice light as steam rising, and I laugh, soft and knowing. “We do. In ways you wouldn’t expect.” She exhales relief, unaware of the storms she will carry, the names she will whisper like prayers before learning to let go. I sip my coffee, watching her, memorizing the version of myself who still believes love is forever, who does not flinch at the word goodbye. I could warn her. I could tell her about the nights we unravel, the doors that close too soon, the hands that slip away. But she does not need my grief— not yet. So I smile, tuck the ache between sips, and let her dream a little longer. ◡̈

A conversation with myself

Will u notice if I am gone? I could disappear today, fade into the quiet, let the wind carry mi name away— and would u even notice? You used to send me hearts, like breadcrumbs leading me back to uuu, small, warm proofs that I mattered. But now, ur words come in fragments, cold, distant, careful. Is this how u leave? Not in a storm, not with final words, but in silence, slow, steady, unnoticed— like a tide retreating while I stand still. If I stop reaching out, will uuu reach back? Or will uuu breathe easier, relieved that I stopped trying? I fear that if I let go, u will too. But maybe u already have, and I’m the only one left here...

Was the high worth the pain?

I touched the sky with borrowed wings, Drunk on dreams and blingbling things. Laughter spilled like falling rain, Never thinking of the pain The warmth, the heights and whispered nights, A world aglow in fleeting lights. But stars that burn too bright must fade, And love once soft can turn to shade ur words grew sharp, ur touch turned cold, A story left hanging and left half-told. I reached for warmth, was met with frost— A promise lost, a debt unpaid Was the high worth all the fall? The sweetest high, the hardest wall? Perhaps the past was made of glass, Meant to shatter, not meant to last. And though the echoes still remain, I ask no more as it still rains— Perhaps in dreams, I’ll feel that glow But waking now- I feel you go

Dinner with Grampie @ Tampopo :)

Last night, we queued an hour outside Tampopo Liang Court to a bursting restaurant with an uber long queue... We were eventually seated at a laopok absolutely cramped corner where servers forgot to top up our drinks or provide us with cutlery until we had to get up to catch their attention?! On the bright side, the food is yUmmy and grampie had fun cooking his sukiyaki :D Even though we are easy to please and would go great lengths for yummy food... We won't queue an hour for it again~



the green tea : very aromatic and full of flavour :D even grampie who usually avoids drinking anything outside his fluid limit coz of cardiovascular health reasons enjoyed it and asked for more tea~

black pig sukiyaki : broth is sweet and savoury , good quality of meat, fire lasted throughout entire meal, grampie enjoyed cooking his shabu shabu :D servers failed to provide cutlery ... expect my grampie to drink boiling soup from a steamboat without a spoon? had to stand up and call them as waving proved useless.

grilled squid : nicely grilled with bbq flavour, not overdone but not soft neither. is a bit Q but not rubbery, quite yummy~

ramen + chirashi sushi set with curry croquette : too much! chirashi sushi was fresh and yummy but ramen was ordinary.. curry croquette felt boring and rather dry, nothing special about it... would be nice if they filled it with bits of corn etc inside to surprise us?

kurobuta tonkatsu set : thousand layered katsu was delish! :) although it's fried it was moist and so well made that it can rival the ones I had in Japan :D the miso soup was rich and had lots of goodies in it~ absolutely thumbs up!

ramen : ramen and soup was ordinary. egg was overcooked as the yolk was not runny.

Good life :D

I am on maternity leave already and so not used to staying still at hOme~ I'm known to be hyperactive but working in ICU in the final weeks of pregnancY induced more contractions +++ :p After resting at home, dodo is so comfy and now although due, she doesn't want to come out? I tried pineapple and spicy food and it doesn't work~ :p Shall let nature take it's course then and enjoy my babymoon at home~ :D Mostly, I feel like a beached whale coz tummy suddenly grew v huge within the last 2 weeks? gOt backache and ribs ache... can't mOve much once I lie down but can still walk quickLY~ well it doesn't stop me from enjoying life :p


this is an pan and milo :D yUmmy...



these are cadbury eggs.. I'm gg to distribute them instead of red eggs on dodo's first month birthday party :D I used to live near coldstorage holland V and bought these frequently as a kid... too bad they are only available during easter now when it used to be all year round but my friends and I really like them! hahaha.. :D

almOst due :D

dOdo gLOWY will be out these few daYs~ went for mi appt and did a CTG... having regular miLd contractions alreadY wahaha....wondering if she will pop on 29 feb :P I am touched dat hubbi accompanied mi through the whole process... I felt quite scared :P

Afterwards, I had tauhuay cravings and the seller designed a dodo tauhuay for mi... heheh... :D Cheers!

Looking forward to a new life :D

I'm on MC... it's like the beginning of the year and I used to NOT take mc for like at least 10 years but I really couldn't walk ... :( Felt giddy that afternoon at mi workplace and suddenly bLOOP on the floor.. :P it happened so quickly and scared mi friend who was nearby... at the same time, mi sprained mi ankle ... ZZZZZ it was so swollen I was crying even when trying to walk from mi bed to mi toilet a few steps away =( Thankfully the swelling subsided by the next day and is getting better...break a leg.. maybe will bring me better luck in this dragon year :D

Count downs 1 mOnth to dOdo's arrival :D

Went for mi scan last week , dodo is already head down and weighed 1.84kg last friday :D Still can't see whether boy or gaL cos of position but nevermind la I believe she is a gal hahaha! Did her room alreadY... bOUght almost everything I need... packed mi hospital bag... I wanna call her Aurelia Chiew Ke Xin :D I hope she likes her name! ke - adorable; xin - happy , euphoric . CNY is coming soon... look forward to mi baby dragOn :D