You never cared

why pretend to care, if care is only silence wearing a mask? i dun need half lit gestures, the safe replies dat never reach my skin. to someone, maybe care is quiet. a nod, a glance, a message too small to hold. but to me, care is presence. it’s choosing to show up, again and again, until the walls come down. I was capable of love so pure i felt scared. Tried to fill it with calm, with things dat made me feel alive again. The answers came finally. from different pple It did not make sense, now I see it for myself. for any kind of connection to work, pure love is not enuf. u need both to want to make it work. I release wad was never mine to hold. I honour what was shared, and return peace to where love once lived.

i let go cos u mattered too much to me

I dun even know if I’m doing the right thing. wad I do know is dat I’ve loved you in the only way I know how… openly, deeply, sometimes too much. I gave pieces of myself because u mattered to me. but love shouldn’t feel like this pain I carry. If u loved me the way I need, u would never let me cry alone. u would never let me feel abandoned when all I wanted was to be seen by u. maybe u care in ur own way. maybe silence is ur comfort, structure ur shield. but my heart breaks in those gaps. I start to wonder if I’m worthy, when the truth is I’ve always been worthy; just not in the way u can hold. so I’m learning to step back. not because I dun love you, but because I love myself too. I cannot keep pouring until I’m empty. I need to breathe again, to be me again ; radiant, whole, not waiting. if one day u choose to meet me where I stand, I’ll be here, lighter, steadier. and if not, then at least I’ll know I loved with everything I had. dat will always be enuf.

It is over

months later... i am back here in so much pain... i tried to bring a small part of my heart to her something gentle something that asked for nothing but presence. she answered with distance, not cruelty just the kind of distance that quietly says “don’t come closer.” and maybe that hurts more than being pushed away. because i wasn’t trying to take anything. i just wanted to offer a moment. a memory. me. and she gave me logistics. dates. work hours. reasons. but not warmth. not softness. not the “i see you” i had hoped for. so i told her i’d stop. that i wouldn’t bother again. and she replied like it was two different things — me reaching, her refusing. maybe it was. maybe i’ve been pouring love into hands that never planned to stay open. and now i see it. she didn’t push me away. she just never moved closer. and i mistook stillness for safety. but today, i deactivate. not out of bitterness but because i need silence louder than her indifference. because if i keep reaching, i’ll forget how to hold myself. so here i am. no longer chasing the echo. just learning how to become my own warmth in the cold she left behind.

I release you

Not because I stopped caring, but because I started noticing who did. I release you — not in anger, but in acceptance. You were never meant to hold something so soft with hands so guarded. I showed up gently. I waited patiently. I asked for very little — just a space that felt safe beside you. But love shouldn’t feel like guessing. It shouldn’t leave me wondering if I was too much, or never enough. So this is me, no longer shrinking to stay visible. No longer hoping you’ll say what you never will. No longer waiting for proof from someone who shows everything through silence. I loved you in real time. You responded in delay. And maybe that’s all it ever was. So I let go — not because I want to, but because I finally know how to. And still… I wish you peace. I wish you ease. But I no longer wish to keep holding what’s never truly held me back.

U dun hav to chase mountains or pple who make ur heart tired

Dear Heart, You don’t have to chase mountains—or people—who make your heart tired. Some connections are like long treks: beautiful, meaningful, but exhausting when you're the only one carrying the weight. It's okay to pause. It's okay to breathe. It's okay to rest. You don’t need to keep climbing to prove your love. You don’t need to send another message to show you care. You don’t need to reach out just to feel close. You have already given so much—more than most would. And that is enough. Let someone finish the climb. Let the mountain be the mountain. You? You return to yourself. You build a home in your own softness. If someone comes down and looks for you—wonderful. If someone doesn’t—you still loved with truth and courage. You are allowed to love. You are allowed to stop. And you are allowed to protect your peace. With gentleness, Me (your quiet strength)

MBA for one

No group chats ping, no buddies near, Just me, my notes, and stale old cheer. My coffee’s cold, my brain’s awake, This journey’s mine—make no mistake! The books don’t gossip, cheat, or flake, They stay with me for every break. No need for promises, plans gone wrong, Just one more case—this night is long! While others snooze or change their minds, I crunch the numbers, read the signs. No squad, no hype, but that’s okay— This MBA is mine to slay!

I should put it behind me, shouldn’t I?

Did I love too loudly, speak in colors you never wanted to see? Did my hands reach too far, grasping for something you were never willing to give? Was it the way I stayed, the way I waited, the way I let my heart unfold in your silence— did that make me foolish, or just naive enough to believe you would catch me? Tell me, was it my words that pushed you away, or the weight of what they meant? Did I cross the line by wanting more than you were willing to hold? I replay the moments, soft edges turned sharp, searching for the place where I became too much, too close, too desperate to be chosen. And now, I stand alone at the edge, whispering to the ghost of what we were, wondering if I was ever meant to step inside your world— or if I was always just an outsider to your love. This version leans deeper into raw vulnerability, self-doubt, and the ache of feeling like you loved too much. Want it even more intense, or more dreamlike?